Going to school brings opportunities to learn, grow, make friends and have fun. But there are challenges as well. Here are a few and what you can do to help.
Starting School
Separation anxiety
By the time they start kindergarten, many kids have been in preschool or daycare and are used to being away from parents. But those who have been home fulltime can have trouble with separation anxiety.
To ease their minds:
- Let your child know that it’s normal to feel anxious and nervous about being away from Mommy and Daddy.
- Talk about what to expect--the activities, the schedule, and the fact that other children will be there to play with and learn with.
- Take your child to school and meet the teacher together. Let him see you interact in a way that assures him the teacher is a friendly adult he can trust.
- Practice by scheduling short times apart from little ones. Dropping them off at Sunday school or allowing them to play at a trusted friend’s house for an hour or two can ease the transition.
Sharing and following directions
Some parents are stumped when their well-behaved youngster starts getting notes sent home about disrupting the class or not following directions.
- Stick to positive reinforcement at home as much as possible, going over normal routines the child already has mastered.
- Notice his energy levels and adjust his schedule accordingly. Try an earlier bedtime, healthful, energizing snacks and plenty of “down time” at home.
Middle School/Junior High
Classroom shuffle
Junior high/middle school is often much different than the structured, insulated atmosphere of elementary school. Children who were safely tucked into one classroom with one teacher all day are now shuffed from room to room and teacher to teacher, braving the social scene in between.
- Work with your child to develop healthy study habits at home so she is better able to juggle her new workload.
- Help your child stay on top of assignments and projects by creating a simple chart at home using a dry-erase board to track classrequirements.
- Meet the teachers; attend parent-teacher open houses and scheduled conferences, and don’t be afraid to step in and ask for a special meeting if you sense your child is having trouble with a particular class.
Social scene
Fashion and technology come into play in middle school, as peer pressure puts a squeeze on your child’s social status and emotional well-being. Suddenly children who were comfortable wearing whatever you laid out for them are asking for the priciest sneakers and the “coolest” cell phone.
- Though you want your child to fit in, now’s the time to talk about limits, both in your family’s budget and the ways in which materialpossessions can really make someone happy or cool.
- Help your child find ways to make friends with similar interests. Encourage your son or daughter to try out for a sports team or join a club. Just prepare him for the possibility of not making the team—another difference from elementary school sports, where everyone plays.
High School
Academics
Just when your child masters the junior high classroom shuffle, she moves into a bigger school with bigger kids and bigger workloads.
- Involvement in a child’s education means more than just asking your teen whether she’s done her homework. Meet the teachers and stay involved. Many schools have online resources for parents to keep tabs on workload and grades.
- Expand on the time management practices you put into place in middle school. Make a “no cell phone/Facebook/Myspace until your homework’s done” rule, and put a reasonable limit on extracurricular activities.
- Though your biggest concern might be academics, keep in mind that your teen has other issues that, to him, are even more pressing. The simple “Who will I sit with in the cafeteria?” can be paralyzing; so ease up on the homework lectures in the beginning of the school year while your child finds his footing—and his new lunchroom friends.
Romance
Though there were rumblings of romance in junior high, hormones get revved up in high school. Self esteem can drop in relation to a child’s insecurity about her changing body and the shifting dynamic in social circles.
- Hopefully you’ve built a foundation of openness so your child will feel comfortable telling you all that’s happening during the school day, not just regarding academics.
- Allow your teen to spread her wings without giving too much independence. Group dates and chaperoned parties are a good way to open up this new facet of life.
Future fears
Before high school, the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” was innocent, answered with dreams and whims. But in high school, it becomes a legitimate question, and if a child doesn’t have an answer, anxiety can set in.
- Let your teen explore interests by joining clubs or getting out in the community to job shadow or volunteer.
- College prep tests like the SAT and ACT can double anxiety, so stay on top of when they are scheduled and allow your child plenty of time to practice. Practice tests, handbooks and online resources are available. Use them!
- Tell your teen it’s okay to NOT have a career planned out just yet. Most colleges don’t ask students to declare a major until their junior year, so there’s plenty of time to figure it out.