Monthly celebrates Father’s Day and local dads.
One night a father overheard his son pray: Dear God, Make me the kind of man my Daddy is. Later that night, the Father prayed, Dear God, Make me the kind of man my son wants me to be.
– Author unknown
What does it mean to be a “good father”? Does it mean you are a positive role model? Does it mean that your child lives in a safe and comfortable environment?
Perhaps it’s that you’ve given him or her help in a quest for financial and professional security, or it could simply imply that your child is happy in his or her everyday life. While drawing a single answer from this timeless question is impossible, it is certain that fathers are crucial and perpetual, stepping-stones in the lives of their children.
For several months, Monthly asked readers to nominate local dads deserving of recognition in our special Father’s Day feature. This month, we put the spotlight on a few Lowcountry fathers who truly go above and beyond. Their backgrounds are varied, but their passion about fatherhood is shared and we hope you find their stories as compelling as we do. Please join us in saluting this year's "Fabulous Fathers" and Happy Father's Day!
Awarded for Their Actions
What do a public speaker, a retired Marine, a town councilman, a cyclist and a puppeteer all have in common? For starters, they’re all fathers. They’re all leaders. And, they’re all winners.
This group of local residents are this year’s recipients of the third-annual University of South Carolina Beaufort “Father of the Year” Awards.
Nominated by local community members and organizations, the awards represent each father’s commitment to family and community service in Beaufort County.
Certainly an early Father’s Day gift for all of them, Moses Riley, Don Johnson, Agustin Martinez, Jr., Henry Robinson and Conrad Hartz, were honored by the university’s “Fatherhood Development Program” earlier this spring. The program, led by director Dr. Sally LaPoint, was initiated in 1996 and now offers bi-weekly classes that focus on five areas of curriculum: personal development, life skills, responsible fatherhood, relationships and health and sexuality.
Moses Riley, 58, is a longtime supporter and instructor for the fatherhood program. LaPoint said his award nomination stemmed from his contribution to the students. “He’s been so faithful to that program,” LaPoint said.
Riley, 58, is the father of a 26-year-old daughter, and he is a grandfather of two children, ages three and eight. Riley, who resides in Beaufort, works at the Paris Island Museum. He said being a good father involves learning the roles and responsibilities of fatherhood early on and then applying them.
For some fathers, this means taking on even more responsibilities than planned for, and such is the case for Don Johnson. He looks after his 18-yearold son and his son’s best friend, whom he and his wife, Regina, took in nearly a year ago after some domestic difficulties. Don, a retired Marine who now works for the Beaufort/Jasper Water and Sewer Authority, said the best fatherly advice he’s received came from his own father: Be responsible for your actions.
"Community happens when people step out of the norm," said Agustin Martinez.
Owning up to your actions is a life lesson Agustin Martinez, Jr. has been teaching for nearly 20 years as a counselor for at-risk youth in Beaufort County. He grew up in Chicago where he said he first established his self-proclaimed “big mouth.” Quite fittingly, Martinez, now 45, works as a public speaker and interpreter in Beaufort County where he has lived for the past 26 years. He is also the father of four children, ages 14, 16, 17 and 21, with his wife, Kelli.
A leadership teacher for many years, Martinez is currently working with government officials to implement a youth mentor program and recruit members countywide. “Community happens because people step out of their norm,” he said.
Port Royal native Henry Robinson took stepping out of the norm a step further in 1969 when he became the first African-American elected to the town council. He continued to serve for 28 consecutive years – 20 of which he served as mayor. After a four-year break, he returned to office as a councilman and is now serving his second term.
Much like his ongoing commitment to public service is Robinson’s work ethic. He has worked for the John Demosthenes Company, of which he now serves as general manager, for 46 years and says he has no plans for retirement. Robinson and his wife, Linda, have eight children, 20 grandchildren, two-great grandchildren and numerous foster children.
Although his children, ages 19 and 23, are both in college, Conrad Hartz, 62, said that the job of fatherhood never stops. A single father, Hartz said he is close with his kids and enjoys kayaking with them and just being there for them – in good times and bad. “You’ve got to encourage them as much as you can,” Hartz said, who is Ridgeland native and works in USCB’s public relations department. He is also a puppeteer on the side at festivals and various events. LaPoint said, “He is so well liked and always has all the answers.”
ROCKY ALEXANDER
Iraq military man.
Single father.
Hometown hero.
Rocky Alexander, in his own words, had a great childhood, playing many sports and working at an early age. Growing up in awe of the military, he joined the Marine Corps to fulfill childhood dreams. His current job is to provide all-weather air traffic control services and to perform maintenance to ensure that RADAR’s are in compliance with FAA standards.
As a single father of three deployed in Iraq, Alexander said, “I am lucky to have a great mother who has selflessly moved away from her home for seven months to care for my children. Having her come to my home to care for them was the easiest way for them to maintain the stability they have. It allows them to be in there home, with their friends, and allows them to stay in the schools they are used too.” He said he is also grateful for the generous care packages that are sent from all around the world to him and his fellow troops.
Alexander said he does not wish for his children to have monetary wealth or prestigious jobs; he wants something more for them. “I do wish for them a happy, successful and fulfilling life. To be productive members of society and for them to be proud of their accomplishments in whatever path they ultimately choose. I hope for them to learn from their mistakes as well as the mistakes of others so that their disappointments are few.”
Alexander expects to return in August or September, and while proud to be in Iraq, he certainly is impatient to see his children. “I can’t wait to see their smiling faces and welcome their hugs when I return.”
He and his family have discussed taking a trip when he returns, perhaps a trip to Disney World, but traveling is not his priority. “I would be happy just to watch them play in the yard and laugh with their friends.”
Occupation: RADAR Technician, Marine Air Control Squadron 2.
Hometown: Lee’s Summit, MO.
Children: Three: Austin, age 14, Marissa, age 11 (soon to be 12), and Kathryn, age 7.
Best aspect of fatherhood: “Watching my children grow and develop, learning the ways of the world. Nothing else is more fulfilling than seeing their curiosities replaced by knowledge.”
Greatest challenge: “Being a single father in the military. It comes with obvious difficulties, such as my current assignment, in Iraq.”
CHRIS O'NAN
What fatherhood is all about.
hat do you get when you cross a huge rock and roll fan who builds custom guitars and owns 11 of his own, a husband to a career woman, and a father to an adorable boy named Lucas? You get family man extraordinaire, Chris O’Nan.
While it would be easy to identify Chris solely as the wife of Hilton Head High School’s high profile principal Amanda O’Nan, whose 72 hour workweeks are the norm, and whose talent and tenacity brought her from teaching to the top at Hilton Head High School in just a few short years, there’s no “identity crisis” and Chris doesn’t seem to mind. He’s comfortable in his own skin, proud of his wife and happy to play the role of full-time dad to their son, 4 year-old son Lucas following his morning work with a local small business.
It may not only be the definition of “opposites attract,” but living proof that opposites work and work well in this family. When they first met, O’Nan was a hard-working mechanic and rock and roller in need of some direction from a self-professed “goody two-shoes Catholic girl.”
Sometimes who we become reflects nothing of where we’ve been. O’Nan serves as a strong example of commitment to children and family but came from a background where that was far from the norm. O’Nan left home at 16 in search of something better and years later he found it in Amanda.
They soon married and the two immediately moved in with Amanda’s parents. His father-in-law was seriously ill and they helped care for him. “It was a difficult way to start a marriage,” said Amanda who gives full credit to O’Nan for his dedication to family.
“Here’s a man who had no example of what a strong family is all about and he immediately became a part of my family and dedicated to helping my parents and me through a very tough time.”
His dedication remained just as strong following the birth of their son, Lucas. When asked what he loves most about fatherhood, it’s about spending time together, doing the “daddy thing,” taking Lucas fishing or enjoying the speed and fun of a re-built go-kart ride or taking in an evening of Sesame Street Live.
On a Saturday when “duty calls” for Amanda for an event at the high school, O’Nan could be found with Lucas and his own little guitar on stage in the cafeteria playing a great game of “rock star.”
“He’s about 100 percent love and really puts Lucas and family first,” said Amanda. He has given him the environment he wishes he’d grown up in,” she says. And so he has and it is certainly apparent that Lucas will know that he is loved and that he matters. With a dad like Chris—that’s certainly what fatherhood is all about.
Name: Chris O’Nan
Time in area: Confirmed that they have been in the Lowcountry since 2003.
Fatherly Advice You’d Give: “When you have time with your kids really focus on them. Time goes so fast. You turn around and it’s the next day or the next week. Make it all about them.”
Favorite Part about being a father: “When my son needs something and comes to me. If he needs something fixed or needs his dad. That’s definitely one of my favorite parts about being a dad.”
PAUL RHODES
Going above and beyond.
About 15 years ago Paul Rhodes made a pact with his two sons. The trio established their own guys’ weekend at the NASCAR races in Darlington, S.C. and committed to making the trip an annual tradition. “That way no matter where we are, we can always get back together,” Rhodes said.
For the Rhodes family, this is just one of many examples of the strong dedication to each other that the close-knit clan shares, and it’s a dedication that spans across generations – from Rhodes’ 89-year-old father, to his two sons to his three grandchildren.
Rhodes, 60, speaks with his sons at least a few times a week and sees his father every day when he and his wife, Sylvia, take dinner to his Hilton Head residence. “We have a really special relationship,” Rhodes said of him and his father. Rhodes and his wife began helping his parents – who had lived on Hilton Head since the 1980s – when the couple retired to Hilton Head in 2003. Two years ago, Rhodes’ mother passed away and he has since become an even more integral part of his father’s day-to-day life. “On her (Rhodes’ mother) way into the emergency room, she said to me ‘Take care of your dad.’”
But for Rhodes, taking his father to doctor’s appointments and serving up nightly dinners is a joy – something he and his wife feel lucky to be able to do. “We feel really blessed to be here,” Rhodes said. That’s because, in their family, being a good father and a good son go hand in hand.
Rhodes met Sylvia in seventh grade when he ran against her in the student council vice president race. They began dating a few years later in high school and married their senior year of college. They honeymooned on Hilton Head – a vacation spot Rhodes had been coming to since 1956– and settled down in southern Maryland, where Rhodes worked as a middle school teacher and high school soccer and baseball coach for more than 30 years.
Sylvia worked at the Pentagon and together the couple worked to raise their two sons, Bryan and Tim. “We were hard headed,” Rhodes said of the couples’ strict parenting style. “But,” he added, “it was good for them.”
Today, Rhodes’ eldest son, Bryan, lives in Augusta, Ga., with his wife and three children and Tim lives in Baltimore with his wife. And, the family will soon be challenged by the addition of thousands of miles between its members as Bryan’s job has been relocated to Germany for three years. “We have to deal with it because we want the best for them,” Rhodes said with a twinge of sadness in his voice.
Just coming off this year’s guys’ trip to Darlington last month, Rhodes reflected on the joys of being a father. “My favorite thing about being a father is how proud we are of how they’ve come out.”
For more information about the University of South Carolina Beaufort’s “Fatherhood Development Program,” please visit uscb.edu or call the university’s Office of Public Information at (843) 208-8030.
Name: Paul Rhodes
Occupation: Retired middle school teacher and high school soccer and baseball coach of more than 30 years / Former Army serviceman (1970-1972).
Hometown: Fort Washington, MD.
Length of Time in The Lowcountry: Permanent HHI resident since 2003; visitor since 1954.
Favorite Thing About Being a Dad: Pride in seeing what my children have become.
Fatherly Advice: “The first thing you have to have is unconditional love…Then you have to set an example. You really have to walk the walk.”
