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On board Disney’s massive new cruise ship, where it’s perfectly acceptable to be jealous of the children.
I’m hesitating, seriously hesitating, before dropping off my 9-year-old son at the Oceaneer Lab on the Disney Dream cruise ship.
It’s not that I’m concerned about the counselors (sorry: cast members) keeping an eye on him, nor that I doubt he’ll have a good time. And it isn’t that I mistrust the complementary onboard family cell phones — a first in cruising — that allowed him to reach us, whether we’re in the gym (unlikely), playing miniature golf (possibly) or having a between-meals meal (ding ding ding).
Truth is, I’m just jealous.
Rather than onboard grown-up clubbing in The District or lounging by the adults-only pool, I really just want to stay here in the Lab. Why should my son be the only one who gets to play a “Tron” game on the state-of-the-art, only-one-of-its-kind interactive game floor? How come he gets to join a team carving soap vehicles to compete in the “Cars”-inspired Piston Cup race? You can have your adult beverages — just put me on a team of buccaneers in a seven-on-seven “Pirates of the Caribbean” challenge.
Alas, the pleasures of such games are cruelly denied me. At 47, I missed the age cuto for the Oceaneer Lab by a couple of decades. Twenty years ago, this wouldn’t have been an issue. Kids had very little to do with the cruise business before Disney became part of the scene in 1998. Even those who remember “The Love Boat” are unlikely to recall any guest star under the age of 25. (OK, so a 19-year-old Janet Jackson did pay a visit, as did an 8-year-old Corey Feldman, but you get my point.)
Back then, the primary selling point of a cruise was that there was little to do besides eat and lounge. But Disney redefined the industry when it began adding … and adding ... and adding to the seagoing experience. You can now go for a three-day cruise without ever even visiting the swimming pool or having a drink with fruit in it.
My family and I are on board for the christening voyage of the Disney Dream, a two-night excursion leaving from Port Canaveral, Fla., for the fleet’s private island, Castaway Cay, in the Bahamas. As such, we are among the first to try out some of the innovations Disney is introducing with the new ship.
Among them available to all ages: Interactive animation technology. In a dining room.
If you’ve visited Disney World in the past few years and caught the Turtle Talk With Crush attractions, you might have an idea what you are in for when you see the giant screens that fill much of the wall space at The Animator’s Palate restaurant.
If not, well, forgive me if I ruin the surprise by telling you that Crush, the animated laidback surfer dude sea turtle from “Finding Nemo” doesn’t just show up on the screens, but chats with you and your dining companions.
How is it possible for an animated character to engage in real-time discussions? I’m not quite sure—and the Disney “Imagineers” who designed it won’t say much except that it’s kind of a video puppet, involving a hidden actor and computer programmers.
While the technology is amazing, I have to admit that I prefer the Animators Palate format on the Disney Magic, where the whole space — including the waitstaff uniforms — subtly transforms from black and white to color. Here, the talking turtle distracts from the more nuanced effects.
Ah, well, can’t please everyone. For the most part, the Disney Dream deftly combines high-tech innovations with old-school charm. An effort has been made to create an elegant, 1920s/30s ambiance — at least, as elegant as one can get with an oversized mouse and a pantsless duck as mascots.
Some examples: Disney has hung Enchanted Artwork throughout the ship — what looks like movie cels come to life. These are also used in a detective game in which sleuthing passengers can use tricks and tools to reveal clues throughout the ship.
There are also Disney Digital 3-D films being show in the gorgeous art deco Buena Vista Theatre, virtual simulators on Goofy’s Sports Deck and Magical Portholes that bring real-time, high definition video from outside the ship into inside cabins, making them seem less claustrophobic.
On the tech-free front, the most visible addition to the Disney Dream is the AquaDuck, which takes raft-riders on a 765-foot-long, four-deck-high trip that even extends out over the ocean. Fast enough for kids to feel they’ve achieved something but much milder than your average water slide, AquaDuck is a marketing person’s dream: In looking at a stack of cruise brochures, what child isn’t going to push for the one with the water coaster?
My son and I did take the AquaDuck plunge — in the evening, when the view of the ocean wasn’t as dramatic but the line was non-existent. Now, though, he’s off to his lab and I’m, well, not sure where to go. My wife is being pedicured. My 18-year-old daughter is off in search of celebs on board (John Stamos, Whoopi Goldberg and some people from “American Idol” and “Dancing With the Stars” whose names I can’t keep straight).
So I opt for a visit to “Disney’s Believe,” an hour-long semi-original musical in the 1,340-seat Walt Disney Theatre. In it, a botanist Dad — guided by a Genie who’s more Charles Nelson Reilly than Robin Williams — comes to appreciate the magic of his teen daughter. The emotional strings being pulled are as obvious as the ones hoisting Peter Pan, but that doesn’t keep me from welling up when the Dad realizes how quickly his child is growing up, how brief childhood truly is, and how important it is to treasure them now.
Later, when my son finds me to tell me that Whoopi Goldberg came into the lab and played a game with him and the other kids, I hug him extra tight. And we head off to find his sister so that we can do something together.
