The holidays always seem to produce a whirlwind of have-tos: holiday cards, gifts, decorations and cleaning. Instead of a season of cheer, it becomes a season of stress.
For some, the holiday season’s impossibly high expectations can turn into depression, according to Ruth Halpin, National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) community coordinator.
“Right now, would be higher for depression,” Halpin said. “We have more unemployment, more folks not living in the house of their dreams and more folks not being able to do for their families what they would like.
“The high expectations relate to what we were doing in the past. Our family may have taken a cruise to celebrate the holidays and now they can barely afford the Christmas tree. Also, the media starts talking about all of the fun things we can do to celebrate this holidays, and most of these cost more than what we can afford.”
Sit down and reevaluate what has worked in the past and what has not. Make a list of what you want to do and what you can do.
“Lists can help us get through the difficult time of the holidays,” Halpin said. “Holidays are supposed to be fun … The blues can start just before we start doing what we feel is necessary or ‘have to do,’ or after we finish it.”
Anyone is at risk for depression during the holidays. The people most at risk include those who have experienced the most negative change, a divorced person, someone who is living in a new environment or someone who lost a loved one.
“People who are prone to depression need to know the signs of when they’re feeling down,” Halpin said. “They need to have a counselor that they can go to and discuss how they are feeling.”
People who have a history of mental illness or depression need to know what they’re capable of doing, she said. Seek help immediately if you are experiencing: a couple of weeks without sleep, not eating as usual, having negative thoughts that life will not get any better and thinking you are better off dead.
“There is nothing wrong with saying ‘no’ if you know something is not good for you,” Halpin said.
For people who are grieving a death, the holiday season magnifies the absence of their loved ones. Unfortunately, there are no easy answers on how to get through the holidays. Grief takes times and people need to allow themselves time to grieve. Prepare yourself with activities and friends. Most of all, understand that you will be sad; this is part of the process, Halpin said.
“The question to ask ourselves is, ‘If this is supposed to be a joyful time of the year, what can we change to make it joyful?’ Maybe we need to try something different. Spend time with people who really care about you. Do not make impossible goals for yourself. Remember the purpose of the holidays is to connect with others and enjoy the celebrations.”
How to cope:
- Make realistic expectations for the holiday season.
- Pace yourself. Do not take on more responsibilities than you can handle.
- Make a list and prioritize the important activities. This can help make holiday tasks more manageable.
- Be realistic about what you can and cannot do.
- Don’t set yourself up for disappointment and sadness by comparing today with the “good old days.”
- If you are lonely, try volunteering some of your time to help others.
- Find holiday activities that are free, such as looking at holiday decorations.
- Limit your consumption of alcohol.
- Celebrate the holidays in a new way.
- Spend time with supportive and caring people.
- Reach out and make new friends.
- Make time to contact a long lost friend or relative and spread some holiday cheer.
- Let others share the responsibilities of holiday tasks.
- Keep track of your holiday spending. Overspending can lead to depression when the bills arrive after the holidays are over. Extra bills with little money to pay them can lead to further stress and depression.
