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Yahoo! News recently unveiled a list of its top five island getaways in the United States, and wouldn’t you know it, Hilton Head Island pulled in the silver medal. I thought I'd review the rest of the island getaways (read:losers) on this list and offer my unbiased opinion on them. Want to see the list for yourself? Click here.
5) Nantucket Island, Massachusetts: Located 27 miles out to sea, Nantucket is like Hilton Head’s Yankee cousin we only see on alternate Christmases. It’s got the same beaches, the same laid-back atmosphere and rich boating and arts communities, but it’s just such a snob, y’know?
Advantages over Hilton Head: 80 miles of beaches vs. our 12 miles of beaches, nothing suggestive rhymes with “Hilton Head”
Disadvantages: Average temperature right now tops out around 40º, Nantucket Chamber of Commerce website contains a section on “being tick smart” (evidently a giant problem on Nantucket).
4) Grand Isle, Louisiana: Grand Isle is located in Jefferson Parish in the Gulf of Mexico just a quick two-hour gator ride from New Orleans. The beaches are some of the most well-maintained you’ll find, but Grand Isle’s big claim to fame is the fishing and the hours spent trying to figure out what the locals are saying.
Advantages over Hilton Head: Even more isolated than Hilton Head, with even the seat of government 95 miles away; BP might just pick up the tab if you choose to vacation in the Gulf this year (don’t count on it, though).
Disadvantages: Direct hits by hurricanes every eight years on average (you’re probably fine, though; it’s only been four years since the last one), the famous “Tarpon Rodeo” isn’t what you think it is (you cannot ride the fish).
3) Sanibel Island, Gulf Coast, Florida: Along with little sister Captiva Island, this barrier island entices visitors with a rich array of seashells, a salacious history as a pirate’s den, a dazzling variety of migratory birds and three more miles of beaches than Hilton Head. How did we beat these guys?
Advantages: Aside from the above, they’re a couple degrees warmer than us on average in January. Hey, it counts.
Disadvantages: Wow, Sanibel. Four golf courses? Seriously? We were going to give you a hard time for charging people $6 to get onto the island, but seeing the golf selection at least you don’t charge people to leave.
2) Hilton Head Island, South Carolina: The crown jewel of the Carolina Coast we call home stands head and shoulders against these other island getaways for too many reasons to count. So what did the braintrust at Yahoo! News think was worthy of a spot above our own little Rock?
1) Oahu, Hawaii: The “heart of the Hawaiian Islands,” Oahu combines lush sandy beaches and warm water with the dramatic mountain views of the Nuuanu Pali lookout. Snorkel amongst the lush sea life or pay your respects at Pearl Harbor. Take in five-star dining or just explore the Honolulu nightlife. OK, so we should exhibit some form of sour grapes, having placed second, but it’s hard not to be begrudgingly impressed by these guys.
Advantages: A solid downtown, fewer swamps (excuse us, marshes), harder to get there from Ohio.
Disadvantages: Very slim chance Hilton Head will be destroyed by volcano, everything here is much easier to pronounce, and we hate to say it, but Hawaiian shirts look ridiculous on anyone under 250 pounds.
